Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...

(714): View more from California

Didn't you just get a DUI last week?

(818): View more from California

Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it

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(614): View more from Ohio

What tipped you off? The sombrero?

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(209): View more from California

she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

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(516): View more from New York

Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?

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(810): View more from Michigan

You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.

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(217): View more from Illinois

it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Are you ok?!

(618): View more from Illinois

I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all

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