omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
