hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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