yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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