She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
