During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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