I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Terrible idea I love it
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