Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
