dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I only lived at night.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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