ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you would pick up someone in the library
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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