Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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