R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
