I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
