That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
