Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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