his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Blood and glitter go together right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize