I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
