You work out of a Hotel?
one two three fourrrrnication!
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
