These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You ate ashes out of my bong
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
