Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize