O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
