Will you blow on my dice?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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