So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
