I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
We just shotgunned beers for America
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
