YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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