Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
