I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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