marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
