Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
