I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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