Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I touched a dick in church today
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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