I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
