my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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