Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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