If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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