I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
