Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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