You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
