Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize