Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
