Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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