I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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