go do what you do best...puke behind churches
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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