i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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