Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
