is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
