If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
