What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
