im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
