Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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