ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
