You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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