Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
