we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
