just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
