i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
