we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
