..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
