Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
