For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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