I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
