Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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