the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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